The Day I Left Molave

It was just an ordinary day. I woke up early, prepared our breakfast. One last inspection of the things to bring and the things to leave behind. Then Gevic came; turnover of all keys and last minute instructions. When they started hauling our bags to the pickup, I talked to Sisoy, my niece Maita's husband , whom I assigned as caretaker of the dogs and the house. Daughter Geda asked me if I want to see the dogs. So I went to the backyard to bid goodbye to Tiger and Wyngard, my dogs. They have been used to my comings and goings for a few days. Anyway, the longest were 10 days for my regular checkups, and the last one was my medical exam at St, Luke Hospital, followed by the by my interview at the US embassy, from May 31 to June 10, 2015. They don't know I'll be away longer this time. Although I believe, dogs have their own intuitions, their own understanding of whats happening, due to the bulk of baggage I bring. Then I went to see Rara, our teacher in the Fenandez-Zacal Learning Center ; Gave reminders and intructions for updates on school happenings. My trip to Cebu is on July 2, 2015, but I chose to leave with Geda, who is leaving today via Pagadian. It was timely because I have a bank transaction at BDO, Pagadian tomorrow and since Goyen mentioned that it would be better if I bring a lab exam results so she can compare it with future checkups, I decided to have it at the Diagnostics in Pagadian. Perfect timing. I have a reason to leave Molave ahead of my own schedule. I would go with Geda to Pagadian. The truth is I did not want to be left alone. Lately, I had been harboring this feeling I cannot understand nor decipher. It's not excitement for my trip abroad, I've long gotten over that. I'm tired of staying alone again in trying to be . okay ,when in my heart I'm not. I want someone to think for me, to plan for me . Yes, I kept myself busy with church and senior citizens activities and I enjoyed our meetings; but when I got home, I felt so empty when there's no one to talk to, to share the days events. In my room I have a big tv, a laptop, a telephone, and cell phones to connect to my loved ones. I have books to read, things to write, which occupied my time before I sleep. I've been doing this for five years. Now I feel tired.... and lonely. I miss the voices and the noise of my family. I don't want to admit it, because a oftentimes, I advise my friends to move on. ' ``` I realize that the best place for me to stay now is to be with my family, anyone of them; then my heart can rest. ````This time, I'm scheduled to go to my daughter Goyen in New York . She is a nurse, and I'm confident she can monitor an old woman's health. When Geda came to help me pack for three days, I became alive. I cooked her favorite foods. She made final check on the things I packed, restored order to my room, and much more restored order to my mind. My grandchildren Angie and Ading came all the way from CDO to Molave; Greff and Thirdy , with Gevic and Imar, four days before to sleep with us, to send off their Lola. After supper, the boys went out to buy barbecue and coke and bonded well before sleeping. The following day, Gevic fetched them so Angie and Ading can go back to CDO for their classes, while Greff and Thirdy back to Pagadian. They did not know how much it meant to me. ```Well, everything is ready now, so , time to say, Goodbye…….